Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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