I will die if light touches me.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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