1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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