u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
You smell like stripper and shame
im about as happy as oj after his trial
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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