Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
