There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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