HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
it's like heaven, but drunker
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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