So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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