she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
