If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Farmville is her only friend.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
