that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
