She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
