you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
