R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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