I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
