My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
