Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
