ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
