Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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