cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
