We named our party play list daddy issues
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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