babies were throwing up all over the place
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
