Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
