So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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