That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
