Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
