I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
