So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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