Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
