I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
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