You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
