Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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