On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
