Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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