Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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