its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
