I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
