The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
