on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
