Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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