Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
