hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
please come you make the beer taste better
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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