I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
