What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
