I was born with a shot glass in my hand
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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