He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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