the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
