Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
