Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
