Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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