i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
